Today I start seeing Covid19 patients at St. Anthony’s Hospital. Even though we long ago began to protect ourselves as if every patient is potentially infected, now it gets real. Real real. I am grateful in a way that I can care for these patients with compassion. Because I am an empath, I can feel others’ pain. Now I will be feeling the pain of those who are alone without visits from loved ones while literally fighting for their lives. I feel I have a huge responsibility and privilege to love these patients and help them feel not so alone. At the same time, I must gird up my loins for this and protect my physical, energetic, and emotional boundaries.
First I want to acknowledge all for which I am grateful.
- My home, which is my safe place, my place of solace.
- My lover man, Barry, who through the dynamics between us, has helped me become more and more of who I truly am meant to be.
- Working vehicles and appliances.
- The ability to move forward on some projects at home.
- Awareness of my Vastness over the small stuff of everyday life.
- For spiritual guides, like Corinne, who reminds me to invite my Vastness into all my affairs.
- Being able to (again and again as needed) turn over my frustrations with the shed project to my Vastness.
- The practice of yoga which has changed my brain over time to be more resilient and patient and calm than I otherwise would be.
- The wisdom that finally has come to me that I do not have to be all things to all people.
- Knowledge that I have about a few things so that I can help the people that cross my path without trying to become an expert on everything.
- My empathic abilities that inspires immediate trust from most people.
- My acceptance of my own qualities without shame anymore – my intensity of feeling, my sensitivity, wearing my heart on my sleeve, my noise and stimulation sensitivity.
- Being alive in a time where my particular gifts and talents are needed and being in a position to share them.
- Working for Baycare.
Now I pray for the highest good of myself, my loved ones, my acquaintances, my coworker, my patients, their loved ones, people of color, gay people, transgendered people, and people of my city, my county, my country, all countries. May we all be healthy, free from suffering, free from hunger, and loved.
Here I go.